My First Date

These bubbles are getting a little sloppy...and by sloppy I mean hot and phat because we three girls have been chatting about the young boys of teenage days past; specifically, the heart-pumping throbs of Tigerbeat TM magazine and YM magazine. Anywayz, back in the day...say, the day of 6th or 7th grade, i was so enamored by one of these "men" that I believe I had what I still consider to be my "first date".

I saw him in a movie, yet he appeared so...life-like, fragile and masculine all at the same time. He was probably a few years older than me...mature, i guess...dashing, too. Devon Sawa took American pre-teen cinema by storm, i say! He was everywhere, in every magazine, and yet I felt so close to him...so close that I felt our "relationship" deserved some ... alone time.

I had been watching one of his finest features, "Wild America", at a friend's house when my parents came to pick me up. I was a ball of anxiety as I hadn't been able to see the film's climax. I was supposed to be going out to dinner with my parents, but decided I wanted to stay home and rent the movie by myself so as to finish it. My parents were understandably very confused when they asked me why I wanted to stay home alone; the conversation went as follows:

"But why don't you want to come out to dinner, Caroline? Why do you want to stay home by yourself?"

"I don't know...I guess I just want some alone time"

"Caroline, you're an only child"

The atmosphere was blistered with confusion, yet in the end my parents agreed I could stay home. They probably thought I wanted to have boys over, when in reality I wanted one, and only one, boy over...and by "over" I mean "stagnant in front of me on the television".

When I placed the enormous VHS into my VHS eating machine (i mean player) I realized if this was going to be me and Devon Sawa's first date, I couldn't be wearing a sugar-pink warm-up jacket and purple puffy sweat-pants. But I also knew I didn't have anything "Sexy", and as tempting as mom's inappropriate seater vest from the BIG DANCE was, I opted to put on my figure skating "tutu". It was the closest "thing" to neglige and the most unmentionable unmentionable I owned. I also applied very red lip-sick.

Mom and Dad came home within the hour to find me wearing a translucent ice skating costume and bright red lip-smackers lip gloss, sitting in solitude watching Devon Sawa run around shirt-less.