I LOVE SWEAT PANTS

It's been far too long since the last installment, and I know Miriam and I are regretting buying new bathing suits because we haven't had the chance to show them of in the tub. (Note to Meredith: we told you once, you CANNOT continue to wear foot pajamas in the tub...you need to grow up and purchase a real bathing suit like miriam and myself. ok? don't make me bring this up again...your food pajamas absorb way too much water and the bath level goes down...don't forget there is three (3) of us.)

Well, since we're slightly on the topic of proper attire for proper circumstances, perhaps now is the best time for this particular installment of childhood/pre-teen terror.

In 7th grade I was planning on attending my first dance. Yes, you remember...bumping and grinding pre-teen dances where young children mimicked sex on the dance floor. I was scared. It was a Friday and mid-afternoon. All the girls in my class were talking about the BIG DANCE and I started sweating. My extremities became nervously clammy. During recess I was reading my latest edition of the X-Files magazine (mom bought it for me the night before) when I realized I needed a new outfit for the BIG DANCE. I had a terrible hair problem in the 7th grade: extra large bangs. They were both thick and curly and the closest evidence I have seen of the big bang theory. Therefore, I new I needed just the perfect outfit to off-set the bangs. However, I also knew I had figure skating practice BEFORE the dance. With that said, not only was pre-gaming with Hi-C Cooler and Ssips lemonade out of the question, so was purchasing a new outfit. I decided I should use the pay phone to call home and have mom pick something up for me in the meantime. The mistakes we make...

When I arrived home and was ready to dress for the dance, I saw it. It was hanging out on my bed next to a new pair of jeans. My stomache turned but I knew I had no other options. The wool, rainbow colored sweater vest and white turtle neck that mom thought would be PERFECT for the dance would have to do. I convinced myself it wasn't that bad. Oh, but it was. I arrived at the dance to find every other girl wearing spaghetti-strap tank tops and flared jeans. Needless to say, my outfit also fully illuminated the big bang theory.

To this day, large sweaters in inappropriate situations makes me queeeeezy.

bubble love.

When it came to bubble bathtime, I only remember fun and giggles.
I'm specifically reffering to the bath I took yesterday.

My personal favorite 8th grade rumor was discovered when I walked into homeroom and heard (say this with a whisper) "Miriam and Sarah Jo made out in the Science and Technology building handy capped elevator!"

The entire grade was buzzing about it.

But there were 3 things wrong with this rumor started by the most popular, most mean girls in the class:
a) I was not allowed to enter the Science and Technology building being that I was in middle school and only high schoolers were allowed.
b) I did not know that I was a lesbian, I still do not know this.
c) I first made out with Sarah Jo in games of drunk truth or dare in our friend's parents basements, but that was not till years later!

I think that we should create a bubble formula that creates giggles. This may involve soap, nitris oxide and a whole lot of love.

Accessorize

It's true, as both young girls and adults no bath would be complete without accessories. And while meredith showered barbie dolls in da tub, I brought construction paper.

you think i'm kidding.

i'm not. in first or second grade i wanted to be a Turkey for Halloween. To accomplish this, I thought it best to take an actual bubble bath and bring in all the colored construction paper I needed in order to let it get soggy. My plan involved letting the paper soak so that it would become more malleable to turn into turkey feathers. Did I even know what "malleable" meant as a post kindergarten grad? It's one hundred percent doubtful..yet I was on a mission.

In the end, both the bubble bath and the construction paper-feathers SUCKED. The water started to smell and the paper stuck to me and I felt dirtier than when I got into the bathtub. In what was probably a fit of absolute confusion that this "plan" didn't work, I attempted to clean the tub and cover up my tracks...but mom was smarter than me and discovered that the paper had clogged the tub drain. My "punishment" : I wasn't allowed to watch The X-Files (my favorite television show) for 2 weeks.

With Easter on the horizon, Meredith and I will be taking bubble baths with pastel colored construction paper.

this isn't just about bubble TEA

to prevent mildew, soap scum, and any unwanted film meredith and i will both be taking turns cleaning the tub. she prefers to clean with a wet rag, i like bristle sided sponges. but enough administrative talk...

bubble time is indeed, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, bad childhood experiences. although puking from rollercoasters, getting bottles thrown at you, and snarting are all reasons to enter therapy, there are two stories which i believe provide the icing on the cake (or, in this case, the soap on the loofah...)

story A: Clowny
When Caroline was in 2nd grade she had two primary companions. No, their names were not commonplace such as Lauren or Mike, instead their names were Stuffed Armadillo and Clowny (Stuffed Armadillo was none other than a stuffed animal armadillo and Clowny was a stuffed clown doll).

One morning as Caroline prepared for her day as a learner of the 2nd grade, she was heading out the door to the bus stop with Clowny in hand when her father accidentally spilt coffee on Clowny's face. Caroline was upset, but pulled it together to make the bus in time and was on her way to study multiplication and get married on the play ground (was Clowny to be the maid of honor...no one will ever know...). Upon arrival at school and during "first period", Caroline was called to the blackboard to do some examples of multiplication (again, clowny in hand) when a fellow boy classmate remarked, "what happened to your doll (referring to the huge coffee stain) he looks like a burn victim!". Caroline started uncontrollably crying and left school "sick" that day. The following morning Caroline placed Clowny into the basement of her home and never played with him again.

Meredith, do you as well have a stuffed animal story?

Other friends, any stories of stuffed animals and imaginary friends?

I will post-pone the second story for another time...this bath water is starting to get a little .... lukewarm.

Until the faucet runs again...

Bubble Time Chat Numero Uno

In our first installment of bubble time chats, we began by reminiscing about the cruelty of childhood amis a bath full of freesia scented bubbles and a cassette tape of "In the Tub" to keep us in the mood.

Some of the most terrible and traumatizing incidents are as follows

-When Caroline puked on the bus after the school field trip to the amusement parked, and was not only ridiculed, but a bottle was thrown at her head.
-When Meredith got sick and puked into her coat, and then had to ride the bus with her smelly pukey corduroy coat and no one would sit next to her.
-When Caroline picked her nose, and someone saw, spread a rumor, and no one spoke to her for a week.
-One word. Snart.
- When Caroline misinterpreted her best friend's actions to mean that she had found new friends and no longer needed Caroline's company, and told her mom such - who told the other girl's mom, who promptly grounded this girl who then proceeded to turn everyone against Caroline for the majority of the 8th grade.
- When nobody wanted to be Caroline's partner in anything -and she had to do all science, etc. projects by herself.
- When Chad Blackburn and Max Wagner told Meredith that only fat girls played the trombone. And she was fat. And played the trombone.
-The time Meredith got chased with worms off the bus by Kyle Vitale. And she is not a good runner.
-The time Caroline got chased by the boys in her neighborhood with a pair of panty hose stuffed with eggs and sand and other smelly nasty things...what?!?!

Please friends, feel free to get into some swim trunks, place a capful of scented bubbles under the running water and hop in the tub to join in this discussion about how children can be so gosh darn mean.

On the bubble time horizon: Meredith and Caroline's gift registry...